


Killing the Past, Saving the Future

by HiNerdsItsCat (HiLarpItsCat)



Series: Uncertain Point of View [15]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Darth Vader Redemption, Episode: s02e21-22 Twilight of the Apprentice, Episode: s04e13 A World Between Worlds, F/M, Happy Ending, Movie: Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, POV Darth Vader, POV Second Person, Shmi Skywalker Lives, Star Wars: Rebels Spoilers, Tatooine (Star Wars), The Special Kind of Disgust That You Can Only Feel When You See Your Teenage Self, Time Travel, Timeline Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-10 23:39:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17435678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiLarpItsCat/pseuds/HiNerdsItsCat
Summary: Your name is Darth Vader.It used to be Anakin Skywalker but you killed him for being weak. You are about to kill his former apprentice, Ahsoka Tano, but then she is pulled into the impossible World Between Worlds.You follow her and discover a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity: the chance to change the past.





	1. Chapter 1

Your name is Darth Vader.

It used to be Anakin Skywalker but you killed him for being weak.

In fact, this is exactly what you are telling his former apprentice, Ahsoka Tano. She spat at you that her former master would never be as vile as you are, and you agree. She thinks that those words will hurt you, but there have been so many years and so many deaths and so much hate that you are beyond the capacity for any further pain.

You knew that this confrontation was coming. You knew that she survived and now, at last, you will be able to sever your ties with the man that you used to be, the one who you killed for being weak.

(You know that you might be wrong about her being your final link to the past: they never found Obi-Wan and it isn’t too conceited of you to think that you are the only one who would ever be a match for him. You may still get your revenge on him one day: the revenge you have been nursing in your heart ever since he left you for dead.)

But killing Ahsoka Tano will be satisfying enough for the moment. She is talented—she was trained by one of the best warriors in the galaxy, after all—but you are better, although she comes very close to slicing off the front of your mask before you dodge out of the way. She thinks that she can sacrifice herself to save those pitiful children who dare to call themselves Jedi, and you wonder if you should let her die believing that or if you should crush that hope for her first, but the Sith Temple is falling apart and you are running out of time.

Before you can strike the killing blow, however, a portal opens in the air behind her and you see the now-irritatingly-familiar features of Ezra Bridger, who grabs Ahsoka by the shoulder and pulls her backwards through the opening in the air.

What kind of technology is this? you wonder. Bridger was on the other side of the blast door only seconds ago—how did he get here?

You feel something that you have not felt for a very long time: confusion.

You know all sorts of things about technology and about the Force… and this is impossible.

It is also still there.

The Sith Temple is collapsing around you, so you step forward and through the portal.

What you see on the other side is impossible as well: you are standing in the blackness of space, surrounded by unfamiliar constellations, on a series of transparent walkways that curve and twist around one another into infinity. At irregular intervals along these paths are circular portals identical to the one you just walked through.

A world between worlds.

Your master has spoken of this; he has been searching for it for decades, since before you were even born. And now here you are, with the power over space and time just within reach.

You don’t see Ahsoka or Bridger and you realize that it is only a matter of time before they do something terrible. You will need to act first.

But how?

Your lungs begin fighting the respirator’s steady rhythm as the question settles into your bones like ice:

_What would you change if you could alter history?_

You are made of scar tissue and wires and metal and hate… and you are also made of regrets.

_What would you change?_

Despite your best efforts, you can imagine what Obi-Wan would say if he were here: something sensible-sounding about how meddling with the past is dangerous and that you could destroy the entire fabric of reality in the process.

You don’t care. Even if you obliterate the galaxy itself, it would still be preferable to your current existence.

_What would you change?_

Would you go back and make sure that you won your duel against Obi-Wan, ensuring that you never end up in this prison of a suit?

Would you stop yourself from killing Padmé and your unborn child?

Would you stop Dooku or Grievous or Ventress or even the entire Clone Wars, keeping the galaxy from dissolving into the kind of chaos that only Palpatine’s Empire could solve?

Would you murder Yoda or Windu or the other Jedi, making sure that they never get the chance to twist your mind or ruin your life?

Would you kill the Emperor at any one of a thousand points in time, preventing his rise to power?

Would you—

_What would you change?_

You know where it all went wrong. You know what to change.

Your first great regret.

* * *

You see her through the portal, walking under the stars as the sands beneath her feet release the last of their warmth into the chill night air. She shouldn’t be out at night like this, you think, but perhaps this is what freedom means for her: the opportunity to take risks and the ability to choose the dangers she put herself in.

You suppose that might explain quite a few of your own decisions over the years as well.

You see them coming: a standard raid, the kind of tragic occurrence that happens with the same impersonal devastation as a sandstorm. Someone finds themself in the wrong place at the wrong time and then the flesh is stripped from their bones.

Your lightsaber is ignited before you even step through the portal and it takes you less than five minutes to find and kill all of the Tusken Raiders in the vicinity.

You stand under the familiar skies of Tatooine and look down at the startled face of your mother.

* * *

She doesn’t know who you are, of course, which is an odd feeling for several reasons. For the last two decades of your life, _everyone_ knew who you were. But now you are in the time of _before_ and that means that you are just a stranger in a suit and mask with a distorted voice.

You tell your mother and the Lars family that your name is Vader (you leave off the “Darth” part for obvious reasons) and that you are in this suit because of an accident you had years ago. Some part of you does seethe at the word ‘ _accident’_ and you remember that there isn’t necessarily anything stopping you from killing Obi-Wan in this timeline in addition to saving your mother.

You also feel odd because it’s _her_ and all you want to do is hug her and you can’t remember the last time you hugged anyone. Hugging your mother is something that Anakin Skywalker would do, and you killed him for… for some reason.

You realize that your past self will be here in a few days and you know that you have to leave before he gets here because the second he reaches out with the Force he will know that you are some version of him. You have no idea what that sort of revelation would even do to him.

But you can’t bring yourself to leave. Your mother is here, even if she doesn’t know who you are, and soon…

Soon Padmé will be here too. It’s dangerous for her and dangerous for you but you _have_ to see her. You can’t let her come so close without seeing her and knowing for certain that she is alive because you can’t quite believe that she _is_ alive.

Maybe she won’t end up coming, you think. Maybe your interference means that your past self didn’t have the vision about your mother and so never had a reason to return to Tatooine.

You still can’t bring yourself to leave.

You offer to help out around the farm and you are soon very upset with Cliegg Lars for his complete ineptitude with machinery. What he needs, you think, is a security system, and you refuse to let him stop you from building one.

* * *

She looks like an angel. She has always looked like an angel.

You, on the other hand, look like an idiot. The Padawan braid, the ill-fitting robes, the look of utter petulance on your face that suddenly reminds you so much of Ezra Bridger that you nearly throw a spanner at your past self in annoyance.

Anakin Skywalker, back on Tatooine for the first time in a decade and so relieved to see his mother that he is almost shattered. You realize what he must be thinking right now: his dreams always come true but somehow this dream did not come true.

You wonder what the repercussions of this will be: perhaps in three years, when Anakin has his first dream about his wife dying in childbirth, he might decide to put his energy into researching better prenatal care instead of trying to unlock the secrets of life and death.

You stay just long enough to see them arrive and reassure yourself that they are both safe. They see you from a distance and although your younger self frowns for a moment in confusion, neither of them speaks to you.

You say goodbye to your mother and wish yet again that you could hug her. You wish that you could hug your wife as well, that you could hold her in your arms one last time, but those are things that only your past self can do now.

You hope he appreciates every damn minute of it.

* * *

Your timeline could still happen, you realize: the start of the Clone Wars on Geonosis is only days away and Padmé could still die in childbirth and Sidious could still seduce your past self to the Dark Side. It took you far too long to admit it, but you know that the only way that Padmé will live is if Anakin Skywalker’s mind never becomes so twisted that he attacks his own wife. And the only way to guarantee that your past self never becomes Darth Vader is for Sidious to die.

To be fair, you really should have killed him years ago.

One thing at a time, you tell yourself. First, you have a war to stop.

On the plus side, by stealing Anakin and Padmé’s ship and stranding them on Tatooine, you have ensured that your past self never fights Dooku and therefore never loses his right hand.

* * *

You have dueled Count Dooku before but he has never dueled you, which gives you an advantage. Nevertheless, you forgot how good he was.

He obviously has no idea who you are or why you’re here on Geonosis and you can barely hide your amusement when you tell him that you replaced him as Darth Sidious’ apprentice.

Dooku manages to damage a portion of your suit’s life support system before you behead him again. You’ve had worse things happen but it is still an inconvenience due to the chaos erupting all around you.

You are trying to figure out what to do next when you realize that your breathing is growing more and more difficult. There are too many Jedi coming, too much of a risk that you’ll be found, but your thoughts are swimming and you are on the verge of keeling over in this wretched hive of scum and—

You honestly thought you had reached your capacity of reasons to hate him but you have finally discovered a new one, because of course the first Jedi to discover you on Geonosis is Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Even your fury at him isn’t enough to keep you from passing out like an overheated bantha.

* * *

You wake up and realize three things:

First, it is just you and Obi-Wan in the passenger area of the Naboo ship you took from Tatooine. In fact, you are the only two people on the entire ship.

Second, your right hand feels very strange.

And third, you are not wearing your mask but you are still able to breathe.

You aren’t breathing _well,_  but you are breathing without a respirator for the first time in over a decade. And the sensation in your right hand is just that: your right hand. Not a prosthetic.

You changed the past and the repercussions are starting to catch up with you.

Obi-Wan looks the most confused you have ever seen him, which is not surprising: he can sense you through the Force and he can see your face now that you’re no longer wearing the mask, but he can also see that you are obviously many years older (older than him, you realize) and you aren’t his apprentice, or at least you aren’t his apprentice anymore.

The only question he manages to ask is “what happened?”

You take great pleasure in telling him that _he_ did this to you.

Then, to your surprise, your breathing gets a little easier. You realize that you are still changing the past: of course a sentimental fool like your former master would recoil in horror at the idea that he caused this kind of harm and of course it would strengthen his resolve to never bring those events to pass.

The outcome of your duel on Mustafar just got a little less likely.

He obviously has more questions and he has always been frustratingly good at getting you to talk, so you tell him that you traveled back in time and that you know the identity of the missing Sith Lord.

When you tell him who it is, the remainder of your journey to Coruscant is in complete silence.

* * *

Despite your objections, Obi-Wan goes directly to the Jedi Council to tell them about you and about Palpatine. You have only as long as it will take for the Council to believe Obi-Wan and send someone to the Imperial Palace—the Senate Building, you remind yourself—so you have to move quickly.

You alter the mask so that it at least covers your face. Sidious will still be able to tell who you are, but at least you can delay that discovery for a few seconds. Those few seconds might make all the difference, you think.

As you make your way towards the now-obvious wound in the Force that is Sheev Palpatine, you have a terrifying realization: you can no longer touch the Dark Side.

From the moment you knelt before Darth Sidious and received your new name, the Dark Side is all you have had. It was the only thing that kept you from dying on Mustafar. It was the only thing that kept you going after Padmé died. You don’t know who you are without it.

You are no longer sure that you can defeat Sidious but you are left with no other choice: for the first time since those long-ago days, you reach for the Light Side of the Force.

It hurts.

Every single ugly truth that you tried to ignore about yourself is thrown into stark relief. You see yourself and what you see is horrible: a twisted broken man who sold his soul to a monster and blamed everyone else for his mistakes. The Light is burning you, it is blinding you, it is leaving you with nowhere to hide.

But you move forward anyway. You have no choice but to persist.

He probably already had the name Vader picked out for you, even back then. He had been waiting to trap you ever since the words ‘ _Chosen One’_ reached his ears. He was no more your friend than a sarlacc is your friend.

You can’t hate a sarlacc; it just does what it was born to do, after all. You aren’t sure if you hate Sidious anymore either.

You just want him gone.

Maybe he even had the mask picked out, just in case something happened to you. He certainly seems to recognize it.

Blue lightning engulfs you. He probably thinks that it will hurt you, but there have been so many years and so many deaths and so many regrets that you are beyond the capacity for any further pain.

You feel the machinery of your suit spark and fail but it no longer matters because you have two arms and two legs made of flesh and bone and you have a pair of lungs that have never been burned and a head of hair that is just starting to turn grey.

A long time ago, you killed Anakin Skywalker so that Darth Vader could live. Now, you are killing Darth Vader so that Anakin Skywalker can live.

Perhaps that counts as bringing balance.

You draw your blue lightsaber and rid the galaxy of two Sith Lords at the same time.

As Sidious falls, you feel yourself fading.

You don’t feel sad. You don’t feel pain.

All you feel is peace and purpose.

Your name is Anakin Skywalker and you changed… everything.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally wrote an epilogue in the comments, so I'm putting it here as well.

Standing in front of the Council, holding what he knows is the most impossible revelation he has ever had, Obi-Wan tells them about Palpatine, about time travel, about how this could not possibly be true but that the Force won't let him deny it. Some of them are skeptical; who would believe the claims of a Dark Side user that Palpatine is the Sith Lord they have been searching for? How is this anything but a lie, one to distract the Order long enough for this stranger to assassinate the Chancellor? Why would Obi-Wan trust this person?

Obi-Wan wants to tell them that he believes this stranger because he trusts Anakin the way he has never trusted another person in his entire life, even this version of Anakin from a future of nightmares, but the words won't come. He can't stop thinking about the Anakin who is his Padawan, the one who is on his way back to Coruscant with Padmé, and Obi-Wan knows that if he gives even a hint of what Anakin might one day become, the Council will never trust Anakin and Anakin will never trust himself.

Before Obi-Wan can come up with a convincing lie (because, in spite of what he has been taught, Obi-Wan knows how to lie when the situation calls for it), they all feel it: the blinding light of Anakin Skywalker, blazing in the Force like a star going nova. Only three words come to mind, because there isn't room in the Force for anything else:  _The Chosen One._

But of course that's impossible: Anakin is still on a ship in hyperspace. Whoever is there in the Senate Building, the stranger at the nexus of a shatterpoint so huge that Mace Windu nearly loses consciousness, must have done something to alter his signature in the Force.

In the aftermath, they discover everything that Palpatine had been hiding: his plans, his schemes, his agents, and the terrible orders hiding in the brains of the new Grand Army of the Republic (an army without a war to fight, thousands of identical faces but all individuals, now able to change their own futures). Some things remain a mystery: no one can explain the empty black suit and mask lying next to Palpatine's corpse and no one can identify the source of the lightsaber found nearby (even though Obi-Wan can see the similarities to another lightsaber, one that he knows very well, one that was never destroyed in this timeline because Anakin never went to Geonosis).

When he returns to Coruscant, Anakin doesn't understand why Obi-Wan keeps sticking to his side like a mynock, why his master keeps asking him how he is doing, how he is  _feeling,_  things that Obi-Wan would never have asked him before. He definitely doesn't understand why Obi-Wan hugged him when he stepped off the ship. Obi-Wan has never hugged anyone before, at least not to Anakin's knowledge. He seems almost desperate to make sure that Anakin is happy, which is why after a few weeks of futile attempts to sneak out and see Padmé, Anakin finally confesses what happened on Naboo: he fell in love. And Obi-Wan, to the surprise of everyone (including himself), tells Anakin to search his feelings and do what he believes will make him happiest. He even attends their wedding.

Now that his former Padawan has left the Order, Obi-Wan feels he is ready to take on a new apprentice. The Council pairs him with Ahsoka Tano and secretly hopes that he won't be quite as indulgent with this one; though, really, what else could they expect from someone trained by Qui-Gon Jinn, who was nearly a heretic himself?

Anakin Skywalker occasionally wonders how exactly he was supposed to bring balance to the Force, unaware that in this universe, he has already fulfilled his destiny. The rest of his life is his own.

**Author's Note:**

> Music: Poe, "Haunted"


End file.
